Laundromats & Reincarnation

Do you believe in reincarnation?

I never did. Still unsure. 

There have been a handful of instances in my life where someone has said to me that I reminded them of someone that has passed away or my presense brought them back memories of someone. The first time that I can recall that it really made me stop and wonder some things, was when I was sitting in the Oral Surgeons office a few years ago waiting to be seen for a wisdom teeth follow up. I was by myself patiently waiting while 80s classics played on the radio, when I noticed a woman in her late 50s early 60s sitting across from me staring. She looked puzzled and concerned. I smiled at her, force of habit to just auto smile whenever I make eye contact with someone. 

She must have realized she was staring when she out of no where, nonchalantly, asked me if I was an angel. WHAT?? She then immediately apologized and chuckled to herself, but proceesed to tell me I had such a beautiful spirit that I couldn’t possibly be anyone but something special. I said thank you and was relieved to be immediately called back to see the doctor. Her comment really startled me. She apologized again and said I should continue to smile at others, that that alone makes me special. I thanked her and went on about my visit. I looked for her when I left the office but did not see her, I had a weird feeling that maybe she was something…special. 

Then there was tonight, just another Tuesday at the laundromat. Usually there are a handful of dirtballs, older couple, or young children who lack supervison running around. I live rather close to this laundromat so I normally stick my loads into the overpriced washers and then drive home and do something for 25 minutes. When they go in the dryer, I usually just sit there on my phone for 32 minutes and go on about my evening. Tonight I did the same, except it was quiet. There was a man, who I later learned was in his 40s, doing some loads while frequently talking on his bluetooth. I know it’s 2017 now but it still throws me off when people are walking around talking and there is no one else around. 

He was polite, smiled at me everytime he walked by, I politely smiled back and hoped he wouldn’t turn out to be one of those weirdos who gets a little too comfortable talking to me. Thankfully, I was wrong. He got off his “phone” and then started talking to me about cars while I sat there occasionally glancing at how much time was left on the dryer. He has a daughter who needs a new car and was asking him what he thought about a few. He works on cars for a living and has had many different kinds. Very nice conversation. 

Then it happened again. Just like before, so abrupt but nonchalant; you remind me of someone. I want to be honest and say the first thing that crossed my mind was “oh god please don’t tell me you mistook our conversation for flirting” but I decided that was an over reaction. “Oh yea?” I responsed. He looked a little uncomfortable and almost as if he had tears on his eyes, but he started to go on about how my personality reminded him so much of someone. My mannerisms and smile just brought up some memories of a special person who had past. 

So after ending the conversation about car loans, because hey I’m a banker and apparently that’s all I know how to talk about, I left. I grabbed my basket and thanked him. I don’t know why I thanked him but it was nice to have a conversation with a stranger that wasn’t creepy or weird and left me thinking.

Am I something special? Am I some type of angel who is wandering around in human form until I can figure out the meaning of life and grow some freaking wings? Because if so, that’d be hilarious. Althought pretty sure I lost any special halo standings when I sorta murdered my fish. I plead age 4.  

All jokes aside, it made me wonder if reincarnation was real. In my life, that was a taboo word growing up. I came from a Christian “God fearing” home and you die and then go to heaven or hell. There was no talk of redo’s or coming back. 

So I wonder, as a grown young woman who has no religious affiliations, what are some serious thoughts on these experiences with people? Thinking back, there were times when I was younger, but my mother talked it up to me being prophetic or a gift from God to people. 

Maybe we are all some type of crazy spirits roaming around putting together pieces of this thing called life. Maybe laundromats are just weird places. Or maybe, I attract all the weird things and just overreact to things too much.



Christmas, Soul, & Some Thoughts For Those Who Are Feeling The Pressure To “Give”

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”

 Atleast, that’s what they say in that song. Isn’t it? I mean I really love Christmas, I love the decorations, the people excited to see family, the planning, the food, but for some, it isn’t wonderful. Not to be a debby downer, but not everyone has a hubby who can afford to spoil you with a MK purse, or a vacation, or your kids getting a new smart phone. 
It’s weird, I grew up in a home that struggled pay check to pay check. Chistmas was a time we got things we needed and maybe a few things we wanted. My dad didn’t let us celebrate it for a reason way too long to explain. But that didn’t stop my wonderful grandparents from making the most of it for us kids. I credit them for my overly annoying holiday cheer. 

I look around myself now, in my little duplex that I share with my boyfriend and three cats, and feel fortunate. My Christmas decorations are mostly hand me downs, I don’t have the most pinterest worthy of table top decor, but it feels good to have a place that I can cheefully enjoy this Christmas season, regardless of how much I fret over not being able to buy everyone I know a decent holiday gift. This season has us so hyped up for giving, which is awesome.. if you can afford to. I’m sure I am not the only one when I say I feel guilty for not being able to afford to bring a large group gift of goodies to hand out to everyone at the work Christmas party. Thank god they told me about it two pays ahead of time, I can set aside the money I need to make the food I am expected to bring. Do you feel me?

I’m not complaining. I am happy to have somewhere to be and expected to bring something to eat along with a $10 gift. Which is reasonable. My heart wonders who else might have trouble affording that $10 gift. Thankfully this year I can afford so. I think back to earlier this summer when my car took a dump and required over $400 to fix it. It took all I had plus some help from a few family members who took pity on me. I don’t know what I would have done. I know that even though I am doing a little better now, someone out there isn’t. This season of pressured to give, give, give, isn’t helping either, I’d bet. 
Here is to you, or whoever is reading this that might be struggling to find a little holiday cheer, please don’t feel bad. Don’t feel guilty either. It’s okay to feel those things, to be jealous of your neighbors Christmas trees or your best friends holiday wish list that you know she will get. I wish I could say “it gets better” but I honestly don’t know that. So, I hope it gets better. I hope the start of the new year brings you much peace and comfort. Just know, that even though you feel you do not have it all together or are wishing better for yourself, if you keep your chin up and persevere, something in your life WILL get better. Even if it’s just your attitude. 

Our souls are so uncared for. We go to sleep with anxiety and wake up in panic. This is not how life should be. So breath easy and know you are not alone. Make the most of what you got and don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’d be surprised how many people are willing to help. That was something I had to overcome this year myself. 
So cheers to you and your worn soul. Cheer up and may you have yourself a Merry Little Christmas…
P.S. I wrote this on my phone, I apologize for any grammar mistakes.

It’s Been A While…

I am the worst “blogger” ever, if you can call me that. I want to be a blogger, but I fail at keeping up with it. My apologies.

Life update:

I figured out how to get trash picked up at my duplex. After a week of calling different companies and being put on hold for forever (6 minutes, I don’t have much time ya’ll.) I finally came in to touch with a company whose cheerful representative is now my new BFF -shout out to a chick names Stephanie-

I was so excited to wake up to the sound at 6 am to my trash being picked up. Success! I waived at the garbage men but I don’t think they noticed me. It was still dark. It’s the little things.
My job. Well, I am being told I am doing well, I feel like I am doing well (I am a banker) but I fail to see much credit to my “doing well” hint hint pay raise hint hint struggle bus over here. But I have a plan and I will work on that.

Annoyed. I have found myself annoyed by so many things. I don’t know if it is my age, my lack of interest in the politics going on in the world, or just my personality. But literally everything is annoying me lately and I wish I wasn’t this annoyed.

I got a hair cut. Like a LOT of hair gone. Like from butt to shoulder gone. RIP hair but I had to do it.  I needed something different and my hair was just so unhealthy and thing. Forever getting use to how much shampoo I DON’T need in the shower.

My cats are heathens. Bandit seems to find joy in destroying any type of chord. Have replaced 4 phone charges in the last 6 months. Peace out wallet.

I left my comfort zone. I drove to VA to visit my sister who lives with our cousins (about a 5 hr drive) and it was the best thing ever. Although Hurricane Matthew decided to rain a little on my way there, but the weekend ended up being nice and sunny. Lovely as ever, I over compensated on the sweaters for sure.  

I am currently working on not caring so much what people think of me. It’s hard when I’m in a job position where what people think of me matters a lot, but I find myself going home and dwelling on every little comment made to me. It could just be me at this age of 21 and sensitive to everything, or I could just be paranoid.





We’ve Stopped Taking Photos By Taking Too Many

My dad and me pretending to know how to read.

    Since the boom of the iPhones, selfies, photo bombs, and snaps have taken over the simple candid of a sweet moment where no one constantly went “Ew retake that!” I’ve noticed over time as I’ve been collecting pictures from my grandmother’s house that there aren’t many recent pictures in there. The last family candid moments and group photos date back to around 2007. So what is it? Why did we stop taking pictures of our kids eating a popsicle on grandma’s sunporch or a funny picture of baby Jimmy falling asleep on his grandpa’s belly?

    From my personal observation being on social media and all, I noticed (and guilty myself) that we are more focused on what’s a “perfect” picture to share and if a selfie looks good enough or how to catch that super cute quote-worthy picture with our boyfriend and best friends. We have all these options now to retouch our photos before we share them with anyone on our phone’s apps from filters to cropping out the people we no longer want included in the memory.

    I don’t know about you but I love and treasure old photos. I giggle at the pictures my mom took of me holding my forearms up to the camera with a big cheesy smile proud of the pen art work I scribbled on myself. Its nice to have these private photos and I don’t known what I would do if my mom had a Facebook at the time and shared the laugh with all her friends and acquaintances. Its nice to laugh at cute things kids do but sometimes I feel like we lose the value of a photo or memory by over sharing it. I mean do we really need to document your kid’s potty training experience? Is he/she going to laugh and want to recap on the moment he dropped a poop into the big kids toilet? I don’t know, maybe it’s easy for me to say now since I don’t have any children. I’m open to criticism on that one.

    I love selfies and I’m all for sharing pictures of your vacation and what not but I am starting to feel a trend of over sharing, myself included. I don’t share as much as a lot of people I know, so it made me stop and wonder if anyone really cares or is everyone just caught up in the “oh let me share this” moment because we are encouraged to share so much of everything we do.

     I guess I am just an old soul. I almost wish we could go back to a time where we took pictures on a camera and then waited a half hour for our photos to be developed. It was nice to see pictures we forgot we took or how bad/good they came out. Since there are a lack of photos I have been able to find of myself in my teens because at the time I uploaded everything online (which got deleted overtime and now I wish I had saved them somewhere) I made a vow to myself to take photos of my future children’s mile stones so that maybe one day they will treasure a moment I was able to catch and print out that I will put away in an album for them to enjoy.