Christmas, Soul, & Some Thoughts For Those Who Are Feeling The Pressure To “Give”

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”

 Atleast, that’s what they say in that song. Isn’t it? I mean I really love Christmas, I love the decorations, the people excited to see family, the planning, the food, but for some, it isn’t wonderful. Not to be a debby downer, but not everyone has a hubby who can afford to spoil you with a MK purse, or a vacation, or your kids getting a new smart phone. 
It’s weird, I grew up in a home that struggled pay check to pay check. Chistmas was a time we got things we needed and maybe a few things we wanted. My dad didn’t let us celebrate it for a reason way too long to explain. But that didn’t stop my wonderful grandparents from making the most of it for us kids. I credit them for my overly annoying holiday cheer. 

I look around myself now, in my little duplex that I share with my boyfriend and three cats, and feel fortunate. My Christmas decorations are mostly hand me downs, I don’t have the most pinterest worthy of table top decor, but it feels good to have a place that I can cheefully enjoy this Christmas season, regardless of how much I fret over not being able to buy everyone I know a decent holiday gift. This season has us so hyped up for giving, which is awesome.. if you can afford to. I’m sure I am not the only one when I say I feel guilty for not being able to afford to bring a large group gift of goodies to hand out to everyone at the work Christmas party. Thank god they told me about it two pays ahead of time, I can set aside the money I need to make the food I am expected to bring. Do you feel me?

I’m not complaining. I am happy to have somewhere to be and expected to bring something to eat along with a $10 gift. Which is reasonable. My heart wonders who else might have trouble affording that $10 gift. Thankfully this year I can afford so. I think back to earlier this summer when my car took a dump and required over $400 to fix it. It took all I had plus some help from a few family members who took pity on me. I don’t know what I would have done. I know that even though I am doing a little better now, someone out there isn’t. This season of pressured to give, give, give, isn’t helping either, I’d bet. 
Here is to you, or whoever is reading this that might be struggling to find a little holiday cheer, please don’t feel bad. Don’t feel guilty either. It’s okay to feel those things, to be jealous of your neighbors Christmas trees or your best friends holiday wish list that you know she will get. I wish I could say “it gets better” but I honestly don’t know that. So, I hope it gets better. I hope the start of the new year brings you much peace and comfort. Just know, that even though you feel you do not have it all together or are wishing better for yourself, if you keep your chin up and persevere, something in your life WILL get better. Even if it’s just your attitude. 

Our souls are so uncared for. We go to sleep with anxiety and wake up in panic. This is not how life should be. So breath easy and know you are not alone. Make the most of what you got and don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’d be surprised how many people are willing to help. That was something I had to overcome this year myself. 
So cheers to you and your worn soul. Cheer up and may you have yourself a Merry Little Christmas…
P.S. I wrote this on my phone, I apologize for any grammar mistakes.


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