Do you ever have a random memory from childhood out of no where and then you start to dig deeper and follow that memory to the point where you begin to remember the things you use to wonder?
I sure do.
I have always kept a journal since the beginning of time as I like to say. Ever since I learned how to write and started to become obsessed with Lois Lane, I found things to write about. It started off with me interviewing my grandma about her day, making up phony reports for my pretend newspaper about a fictional lion escaping a zoo that was originally meant for sea lions to printing out my own newsletter via the typewriter my grandpa gave me and then eventually big ole fancy 10 year old me, started an email newspaper. That’s right, email. That thing before I knew blogs existed.
Despite my oh so impressive journaling history, I personally didn’t start writing seriously in journal form until I was 17 which I made full of more life details, memories, random quotes, and things that I liked at the moment. I have kept up to date with that particular journal all the way to now at the age of 21 (ok almost 21, 18 days, but whose counting).
What I’m leading up to is that recently I started to remember a moment of me laying on my bed at home, nine years old, and journaling some thing that I now find sad.
I remember writing about how I wondered what it was like to live in a house with carpet, in a house that had a functioning bathroom with warmth and trim so no bugs got in and left ugly marks to be made fun of. I remembered wondering what it was like to have a fridge filled with food other than milk and condiments and left over home made pizza. I remember writing a list of all the nice clothes I would buy if I found $100.
That was when it hit me. I wondered all these things and envied all these things that most families have in their home and yet I never considered myself poor. I didn’t realize my family struggled. I didn’t realize I was talked about by the kids at church because I wore the same shoes every day.
Maybe it was because I was a positive young girl, maybe it was because my family was loving and very optimistic, or maybe it was because I occasionally stayed with grandparents who would “spoil me” but in reality they were buying me all the things my parents should have been able to afford.
Now I sit here in a nice home that I stress about keeping clean and while vacuuming I remembered those things I wished for. I remembered the excitement I got when my home finally got carpet in a room. Its weird. No one should be that excited over carpet.
So this I know, nine year old Liz:
– You will get a carpeted home
– You will grow up to have no more bug bite scars
– You will have a fridge full of too much food and find yourself throwing things out
– You will own more than one pair of shoes – And you will still love to write and occasionally hop on this website called WordPress.
What’s something you remembered thinking at a young age that surprised you?