Laundromats & Reincarnation

Do you believe in reincarnation?

I never did. Still unsure. 

There have been a handful of instances in my life where someone has said to me that I reminded them of someone that has passed away or my presense brought them back memories of someone. The first time that I can recall that it really made me stop and wonder some things, was when I was sitting in the Oral Surgeons office a few years ago waiting to be seen for a wisdom teeth follow up. I was by myself patiently waiting while 80s classics played on the radio, when I noticed a woman in her late 50s early 60s sitting across from me staring. She looked puzzled and concerned. I smiled at her, force of habit to just auto smile whenever I make eye contact with someone. 

She must have realized she was staring when she out of no where, nonchalantly, asked me if I was an angel. WHAT?? She then immediately apologized and chuckled to herself, but proceesed to tell me I had such a beautiful spirit that I couldn’t possibly be anyone but something special. I said thank you and was relieved to be immediately called back to see the doctor. Her comment really startled me. She apologized again and said I should continue to smile at others, that that alone makes me special. I thanked her and went on about my visit. I looked for her when I left the office but did not see her, I had a weird feeling that maybe she was something…special. 

Then there was tonight, just another Tuesday at the laundromat. Usually there are a handful of dirtballs, older couple, or young children who lack supervison running around. I live rather close to this laundromat so I normally stick my loads into the overpriced washers and then drive home and do something for 25 minutes. When they go in the dryer, I usually just sit there on my phone for 32 minutes and go on about my evening. Tonight I did the same, except it was quiet. There was a man, who I later learned was in his 40s, doing some loads while frequently talking on his bluetooth. I know it’s 2017 now but it still throws me off when people are walking around talking and there is no one else around. 

He was polite, smiled at me everytime he walked by, I politely smiled back and hoped he wouldn’t turn out to be one of those weirdos who gets a little too comfortable talking to me. Thankfully, I was wrong. He got off his “phone” and then started talking to me about cars while I sat there occasionally glancing at how much time was left on the dryer. He has a daughter who needs a new car and was asking him what he thought about a few. He works on cars for a living and has had many different kinds. Very nice conversation. 

Then it happened again. Just like before, so abrupt but nonchalant; you remind me of someone. I want to be honest and say the first thing that crossed my mind was “oh god please don’t tell me you mistook our conversation for flirting” but I decided that was an over reaction. “Oh yea?” I responsed. He looked a little uncomfortable and almost as if he had tears on his eyes, but he started to go on about how my personality reminded him so much of someone. My mannerisms and smile just brought up some memories of a special person who had past. 

So after ending the conversation about car loans, because hey I’m a banker and apparently that’s all I know how to talk about, I left. I grabbed my basket and thanked him. I don’t know why I thanked him but it was nice to have a conversation with a stranger that wasn’t creepy or weird and left me thinking.

Am I something special? Am I some type of angel who is wandering around in human form until I can figure out the meaning of life and grow some freaking wings? Because if so, that’d be hilarious. Althought pretty sure I lost any special halo standings when I sorta murdered my fish. I plead age 4.  

All jokes aside, it made me wonder if reincarnation was real. In my life, that was a taboo word growing up. I came from a Christian “God fearing” home and you die and then go to heaven or hell. There was no talk of redo’s or coming back. 

So I wonder, as a grown young woman who has no religious affiliations, what are some serious thoughts on these experiences with people? Thinking back, there were times when I was younger, but my mother talked it up to me being prophetic or a gift from God to people. 

Maybe we are all some type of crazy spirits roaming around putting together pieces of this thing called life. Maybe laundromats are just weird places. Or maybe, I attract all the weird things and just overreact to things too much.



Christmas, Soul, & Some Thoughts For Those Who Are Feeling The Pressure To “Give”

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”

 Atleast, that’s what they say in that song. Isn’t it? I mean I really love Christmas, I love the decorations, the people excited to see family, the planning, the food, but for some, it isn’t wonderful. Not to be a debby downer, but not everyone has a hubby who can afford to spoil you with a MK purse, or a vacation, or your kids getting a new smart phone. 
It’s weird, I grew up in a home that struggled pay check to pay check. Chistmas was a time we got things we needed and maybe a few things we wanted. My dad didn’t let us celebrate it for a reason way too long to explain. But that didn’t stop my wonderful grandparents from making the most of it for us kids. I credit them for my overly annoying holiday cheer. 

I look around myself now, in my little duplex that I share with my boyfriend and three cats, and feel fortunate. My Christmas decorations are mostly hand me downs, I don’t have the most pinterest worthy of table top decor, but it feels good to have a place that I can cheefully enjoy this Christmas season, regardless of how much I fret over not being able to buy everyone I know a decent holiday gift. This season has us so hyped up for giving, which is awesome.. if you can afford to. I’m sure I am not the only one when I say I feel guilty for not being able to afford to bring a large group gift of goodies to hand out to everyone at the work Christmas party. Thank god they told me about it two pays ahead of time, I can set aside the money I need to make the food I am expected to bring. Do you feel me?

I’m not complaining. I am happy to have somewhere to be and expected to bring something to eat along with a $10 gift. Which is reasonable. My heart wonders who else might have trouble affording that $10 gift. Thankfully this year I can afford so. I think back to earlier this summer when my car took a dump and required over $400 to fix it. It took all I had plus some help from a few family members who took pity on me. I don’t know what I would have done. I know that even though I am doing a little better now, someone out there isn’t. This season of pressured to give, give, give, isn’t helping either, I’d bet. 
Here is to you, or whoever is reading this that might be struggling to find a little holiday cheer, please don’t feel bad. Don’t feel guilty either. It’s okay to feel those things, to be jealous of your neighbors Christmas trees or your best friends holiday wish list that you know she will get. I wish I could say “it gets better” but I honestly don’t know that. So, I hope it gets better. I hope the start of the new year brings you much peace and comfort. Just know, that even though you feel you do not have it all together or are wishing better for yourself, if you keep your chin up and persevere, something in your life WILL get better. Even if it’s just your attitude. 

Our souls are so uncared for. We go to sleep with anxiety and wake up in panic. This is not how life should be. So breath easy and know you are not alone. Make the most of what you got and don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’d be surprised how many people are willing to help. That was something I had to overcome this year myself. 
So cheers to you and your worn soul. Cheer up and may you have yourself a Merry Little Christmas…
P.S. I wrote this on my phone, I apologize for any grammar mistakes.